I am playing for the service tomorrow morning. I practiced and chose music before I left on our trip. I practiced again this morning and felt pretty awkward at first after ten days away. The Easter service is full of music. There will be brass and strings and drums and guitars--all of which have their assigned stanzas for the singing. I will be playing at the piano for three of the contemporary songs--using chord notation only. I can do it, but it's not something I do easily.
I have special glasses to use for times like this--so I can read the music but also look through the mirrors and see David, our worship director. Fortunately he uses large gestures and is easier to follow than many conductors.
It is not a performance and I don't feel pressure to be perfect. But I pray to have the energy and stamina and concentration that is needed to be a good leader in worship. I don't want to be surprised, as I occasionally am, by some stop I have pulled accidentally.
I have written warnings to myself at the top of my postlude (and it is also true for my prelude and offertory): "Don't hurry or you'll be sorry!"
Sometimes I think about retiring from this service to our church but there are no easy replacements for me at this point. So I'll just keep practicing and choosing music that is within my abilities to play--and I'll keep praying to be able to help God's people at the South Bend Christian Reformed Church praise him--especially on Easter morning.